This post is part of a series consisting of excerpts from a journal I keep reflecting on loss, healing, change, and other adventures, usually during the few summer weeks I spend in Sedona, AZ. Links to the LEAD POST and to Emmanuel House—an organization founded by Rick and Desiree Guzman as a living memorial to Bryan Emmanuel Guzman (1985-2006)—are at the bottom of this page.
August 5: Linda and I switch optimist/pessimist roles when it comes to whether Bryan’s tree is doing better or not. She thinks it looks better each year. I don’t. Certainly still a solid little tree, its branches seem to grow by fractions of an inch annually, but to me they also seem fractions more bare, especially on its south side. A slight anxiety tempers my joy when I see it the first time each August. I walk around it surveying its condition closely. I look under it to see whether I can still see some of the ashes we scattered under it now more than six years ago. Mountain wind and rain carry more away each year, and this year for the first time I had to look very close to see what’s left. Then I sit down on the rock just to its left and soak in the peace of being by the tree again, seeing the valley below, being surrounded 360 by stunning red rock mountains, and feeling my son’s presence so strong here somehow.
Last year the intense quiet of this first meeting was disrupted because one of the agave plants lying close to it, half underneath it, had bloomed, shooting up a 14-foot stalk. This year the agave was in process of decay, its stalk broken off about four feet from the ground, giving the tree its normal profile back. I sat peacefully, facing slightly east, thinking nothing could be as surprising as that bloom again, when the peripheral vision of my left eye suddenly sensed small rock piles about 20 feet away. I turned slowly. There were three piles, stacked like small cairns about a foot-and-a-half high. No, there was also a fourth pile, a smaller one in the middle of the three, all four surrounded by what appeared to be randomly scattered rocks. But as I stood I saw the rocks weren’t random at all. They were arranged as three interlocking circles, all together about 15 to 17 feet across, the three larger cairns standing at the points the circles intersected on the inside, the small one standing in the middle of it all. Last year when I saw the agave bloom—a “century plant bloom” they call it—I started shouting right away. I wrote that I felt like Jimmy Stewart whooping it up about something—Zuzu’s petals, for example—in It’s A Wonderful Life. This year a slow wonder came over me, until it seemed my whole being was amazed.
Someone had written “11.11” in chalk on the outer intersection of circles one and two. At the outer intersection of circles two and three “IN UNITY WE THIVE.” At the outer intersection of circles three and one “WE ARE 1,” and between these two, perhaps spoiling the symmetry, but really not: “LOVE EVERYTHING.”
Under normal circumstances—especially in Sedona, where New Age loopiness often intrudes—I might have seen the whole thing, especially the words, as corny, sentimental, hopelessly romantic. But even writing this now, the wonder, the sense of being next to something genuinely powerful and peaceful, does not recede.
The interlocked rings go by many names, from “Trinity Rings,” which leans them towards Christian mysticism, to “Bonham Rings,” as in drummer John Bonham, which leans them towards, well, Led Zeppelin! Leaning towards math (though it’s not quite the same), some call them “Borromean Rings.” These consist of three interlocked circles with paradoxical properties. Removing any one circle results in two unlinked rings, so no two rings actually link to each other. All three together, however, “are” linked. “We Are 1,” indeed. Even mathematically, the structure remains full of wonder.
Three circles, four cairns. Bryan’s tree in background, far right, with large agave in front.
— Read Part 2 of 2013 journal excerpts —
— Go to Lead Post in series —
— Go to main pages for Sedona or for Emmanuel House —
In 2016 Emmanuel House was named one of the “Top 100 Most Innovative” social change organizations in the world.












“Race aside…” and the Limits of American Law
What occupies much of the legal process is determining what can be “set aside”—what parts of the real life situation one can, or must, weigh more lightly or ignore all together. Paradoxically, then, law often adjudicates a version of life that sometimes only faintly resembles the original situation. It does so to retain some measure of “objectivity” or “neutrality”—something even the hard sciences have questioned profoundly for over a century. When it comes to law, many question this “neutrality” as well. Who seriously believes, for example, that politics and ideology play no part in the Supreme Court, where we regularly speak of conservative vs. liberal? Of course, each side—especially the conservative side—believes it’s being objective while the other side isn’t.
Objectivity, neutrality, colorblindness—these too are woven into the very nature of law, even though critical race theory, daily experience, and the very history of American law itself have so clearly and so often negated such pretenses. In her essay “The Death of the Profane,” from her 1992 book The Alchemy of Race and Rights, Patricia Williams, James L. Dohr Professor of Law at Columbia, wrote about her anger at not being able to shop in a New York Benneton’s because the store clerk would not buzz her in. The store clerk was a white teenager. It was 1:00 p.m., and several white people were shopping in the store. Professor Williams is black, yet when she submitted her essay on the incident to a law journal and it went through the editing process, each round of editing sought to edit race out—even the fact that she was black. After fierce debate, she won this last battle, but wrote:
“Law and legal writing aspire to formalized, color-blind, liberal ideals. Neutrality is the standard for assuring these ideals; yet the adherence to it is often determined by reference to an aesthetic of uniformity, in which difference is simply omitted. For example, when segregation was eradicated from the American lexicon, its omission led many to actually believe that racism therefore no longer existed. Race-neutrality in law has become the presumed antidote for race bias in real life.”
For example, at a forum on racial profiling at my own college just a few days ago (July 23, 2013), one panelist, a member of the NAACP national board and an actual A.M.E. church minister—in other words, someone who should have known better—said, “Justice is colorless…A lot of people are emoting about Trayvon Martin. We need to get beyond the emotions.” Here our cultural wish for colorblindness sanctifies our legal pretense of race-neutrality.
It is “the dream of all liberal men,” James Baldwin wrote, “to join hands and walk together into that dazzling future when there will be no white or black…a dream not at all dishonorable [my emphasis], but, nevertheless, a dream. For, let us join hands on this mountain as we may, the battle is elsewhere. It proceeds far from us in the heat and horror and pain of life itself where all men are betrayed by greed and guilt and bloodlust and where no one’s hands are clean.” In the heat and horror and pain of life itself George Zimmerman confronted Trayvon Martin. The real battle is there. And there, you can bet he—like virtually everyone who’s killed an unarmed black man—saw color, even though American law continues to hold to the belief that he didn’t.
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* The diversity plan was for Naperville Community Unit School District 203, Naperville, IL. Go Here to read more and see the pamphlet mailed to each household in the district.
** Go to the TEACHING DIVERSITY main page, and to an article about the shooting of yet another unarmed black man, Stephon Clark.